Got ya!

English really seems to be going through some grand evolution..

And thats no bad thing..of course..because every language needs to evolve with changing times and changing needs..thats how sanskrit evolved..today its extinct..and we have hindi. Few centuries back..English was so different we would have mighty troubles understanding those texts today..even Shakespearean texts of a couple of centuries back have many now-obsolete words..phrases..and usages. But as i said..languages do NEED to evolve..and the same has happening to english..we no longer use 'thou' and 'thy' and phrases like 'in good cheer' in our english today which were very much used by authors of victorian era..thomas hardy..bronte sisters..conrad..and so on..they have fast become obsolete and too ornamental for today's usage..and so..necessarily enough..english has evolved..keeping pace with our lifestyle.

But now..having said that..our 'indian' english is going out of track..I'l get straight to the point..

why do people need to say 'ya' instead of 'you'? like..if u want to shorten the word..use 'u'..why 'ya'..?? i'v seen very often recently..people saying..'howz  ya'? And i think..its just a pathetic inferiority complex we indians have..to get an accent to their language..in spoken english and now quite clearly..even in written english!!everyone wants to sound stylish..status statement..everyone wants to sound awesome in english..and so..without any necessity..you becomes ya..where in fact 'u' would have been much easier..there are so many examples..'of' becomes 'a'..'not' becomes 'nah'..'m not gonna hate u' becomes 'm nah gonna hate ya'..

it sounds mexican! what..are we americans? mexicans? cowboys? y then?? simple..inferiority complex..as if givin a lilt to the english will make us more stylish or sumthng..

and while we leave no stones unturned to shine up our spoken english..by a RD survey 2009, our grammar (we indians) is becoming more and more pathetic..bordering on horrible..and the two form a hilariously deadly combo..

i am not against sms english..in fact i think english IS going to evolve and sms english will become common within a century..and it needs to..we dont have time to write extensively nowadays..the sorter the better..but what m talking about isnt 'shortening'..its 'twisting'..giving an accent..

 trying to "give accent to our words" is hopelessly an inferiority complex..no use of it at all..i dont see why we need to pet this inferiority complex..and actually it doesnt sound stylish either..

funny..we declare ourselves to be patriots..and are ashamed of our way of speaking! not that it isn't good enough..its just normal proper UK english! 

dont take offense to this guys..i know many of u may..cuz i'v noticed this very often among my mates..

but cmon..m juz discussing..open to discussion..peaceful one..:P

An anonymous letter to a news channel that I came across:

Sir,

With regard to the recent occurances related to the "India against Corruption" campaign' i would like to bring the following to 

your kind notice :

When the movement started a few months back, a lot of mobile users were sent messages on behalf of Anna Hazare and the 'India against Corruption group' requesting people to make missed calls to show their support for the movement. 

Since then those who have registered have received numerous updates on the developments on the issue.

However last week or so..a day after the ramlila ground incident..we were sent messages clearly stating "Sarkar ne kaha: Jo bhrashtachar ke khilaf awaz uthayega use kuchal diya jayega "..

To my knowledge, no governement official, nor the spokesperson of any party with the UPA has made any such statement. It is a totally false and fabricated statement quoting the government, trying to capitalize on emotions of the masses.

I am biased to no political party, but i would like to bring to notice the following points which elucidate my personal view shared by many in our country:

1.Ramdev baba has appeared on TV clearly stating that he intends to start a revolution of much larger scales than Egypt, intending to overthrow the government. He later twisted his comments saying he wants to be a guru to the revolution. However i do not understand why a yoga guru should want to set up funds worth crores, acquire land questionably, indulge in politics and try to aggravate masses. If he was truly interested in change there are much more peaceful methods and certainly less political methods. It is a shame to satyagraha if he indulges himself in petty politics of power in the name of non violence. And an even greater shame to see him running away in a woman's clothes rather than courting arrest..is that satyagraha?

2.Ramdev and team Anna have clearly stated that their battle is against the government.However convincing they may sound, and declare to act on behalf of people, i would like to question: has there been corruption and offshore money laundering ONLY during the governance of the UPA? Why is their campaign not against "dirty politics" and only against UPA? in fact they have been proved and quoted to be speaking in praise of other parties, most notably BJP, RSS and even Modi- whose state has a ghastly communal violence record. I do not understand how a non-political yoga guru and social worker can make such statements, and indulge in power politics to usurp a government while there is NO guarantee that the next government would not be as corrupt-provided that politicians are after all of the same make..it is impossible to declare a single party as totally corrupt and other clean..or vice versa. There are heavy indicators of foul play as clearly it is a two pronged strategy..Ramdev capitalizing and instigating people, and political parties in turn capitalizing on Ramdev's hold on the people and siding with him to put themselves in the good books of the people.

I deeply regret that in a time when corruption is being exposed very able by a very efficient media, the citizens are being misled by another group of power seekers with a hidden agenda. I support anti corruption campaigns and Anna Hazare is an able leader but he is clearly being misled. As for Ramdev baba..a role akin to Chanakya  would throw our country in a turmoil of aimless revolution guided by power seekers. India is NOT Egypt, because we are already a democracy.

I would be obliged if my views are aired' specially regarding misleading messages, as it seems like a desperate attempt to infuriate and mobilize masses capitalizing on popular reaction. Such actions are most dangerous in a democracy where for many the mobile is a source of contact to the world and hardly few have the means to question their messages and discover that the statement was wrong and biased.

Yours Sincerely,

Anonymous

__________________________________________________________

Some coincidences that leave you wondering..

#1. THE DICK FAMILY

Michael Dick of the UK had not seen his long-lost daughter Liza for 10 years. Why were they estranged? Your guess is as good as ours. All we know is that Michael went nuts looking for her.

Where it Gets Weird:

After fruitlessly combing the deserts of Sudbury for her, Michael turned to the Suffolk Free Press for help. The newspaper to write a story on the Dick family's predicament and even decided to include a picture of the family to make Liza feel homesick.

So, the family gathered out in the street, and the newspaper photographer snapped their picture. Sure enough, running the picture of the family farm did the trick! Michael Dick and his family were reunited with Liza just a few hours after the paper hit the streets.

Thanks to the tireless work of brave newsies.

Where it Gets Even Weirder:

After taking a good look at the newspaper photo, Liza realized something ...

"Hey, that's me!"

Liza, the long-lost girl whom the man in the above photo had not seen in 10 years, just happened to be walking past in the background when the photo was snapped.

She didn't know they were there, and she didn't know a photo was being taken. After a decade apart, at the moment her family posed for a photo for a newspaper story about how she was missing, she just happened to be standing within 100 feet of them.

She described the experience as "very strange" and said, "Perhaps it was fate." Yeah, call it what you want. We'll leave it at "weird as shit."

______________________________________________________________

#2.JAPAN's DIVINE WIND

__________________________________

Everyone loves a good case of "divine intervention" that can easily be explained away by basic meteorology.

Preferably on Channel Ocho.

For instance, Russia was invaded by Hitler and Napoleon, and they were stopped respectively by a snowstorm and a snowstorm. Wow, big surprise. They didn't finish their invasions during the 72 hours it's not snowing in Russia.

But then, you have the ones that make you wonder. For instance, the Brits burned Washington, D.C., in 1814, and out of nowhere came the first recorded tornado in D.C. history. It trashed the living shit out of the British army and conveniently put out all their fires on the federal buildings.

After ensuring a conveniently sweet remodeling for the White House.

But even that pales next to the most famous example of meteorological deus ex machina: a weather phenomenon that came to be known as the Kamikaze, long before that word symbolized suicidal fighter pilots.

Where it Gets Weird:

The first Mongol invasion of Japan took place in November 1274 and consisted of 23,000 men and 700 to 800 ships. They were at sea for two weeks, made fantastic time and even managed to establish a beachhead on Hakata Bay, Japan. When the Battle of Bun'ei broke out on Nov. 19, Japan was so weak it looked like they should have started scouting out other islands to move to.

This was before Tommy Lee Jones came to straighten them out.

And everything went swimmingly for the Mongols ... that is, until a typhoon came in and wrecked their fleet like a blast from Poseidon's own shotgun. The Mongols suffered horrendous losses and retreated after only one day of fighting, which is saying something when you consider that these are the same folks who conquered everything from Korea to Austria.

But no matter -- they weren't the type to give up. They simply came back with a second, larger invasion in 1281. This force consisted of 140,000 soldiers, 4,000 ships and a two-pronged invasion via China and Korea. It was pretty much the size of six or seven of the previous invasion force. It was the best the Mongol-ruled Yuan Dynasty could muster, and you can bet the Mongol leader, Kublai Khan, expected to conquer Japan this second time around.

By mid-August, the enormous Mongol fleet met the Japanese at the very same Hakata Bay where they had squared off seven years earlier. And, once again, this fleet was destroyed ... by a typhoon.

Where it Gets Even Weirder:

If you're now picturing Japan as a powerful typhoon magnet where you have to carefully slip in durring narrow windows between storms, stop. Storms almost never hit the Hakata Bay, and one of the invasions wasn't even in typhoon season (they tend to hit in the summer, and the first attack was in November).

So exactly how low were the odds of the Mongols getting trashed at Hakata Bay? According to Japanese sources, a typhoon like the one that hit the Mongols during the second invasion occurs "once a hundred years or once a few hundred years." Or, as was the case with Mongolians, every time they invaded Japan.

All their cunning was useless.

Two storms, in seven years, both right when the Mongols were attacking, and in the spot where their fleet was located.

The Mongols never tried to invade Japan again.

#3.John Wilkes Booth's Brother and Abe Lincoln's Son

Edwin Booth, perhaps unfairly known today as the brother of assassin John Wilkes Booth, was once upon a time known as the greatest actor in American history. In fact, certain theater historians and steampunk enthusiasts would probably argue that he still is today. His reputation as an actor was described as "mythic," and astatue of him stands in Manhattan's Gramercy Park to this very day.

That's what having a brother who killed the freaking president gets you -- in his day, Edwin was as famous as George Clooney, as classy as Clive Owen, as lusted after as Johnny Depp and as awesome as Josh Brolin. Hell, he even looked suspiciously like Robert De Niro ...

... and we bet that most of you have never heard his name before today.

But there's something else ...

Where it Gets Weird:

Booth performed a heroic act, one that would have gotten him into the history books. It took place during the last months of the Civil War at a crowded train station in Jersey City.

That's right. Even back then Jersey was known as a death-trap.

According to the young man that  Edwin Booth saved:

The incident occurred while a group of passengers were late at night purchasing their sleeping car places from the conductor who stood on the station platform. ... There was some crowding, and I happened to be pressed by it against the car body while waiting my turn. In this situation the train began to move, and by the motion I was twisted off my feet, and had dropped somewhat, with feet downward, into the open space, and was personally helpless, when my coat collar was vigorously seized and I was quickly pulled up and out to a secure footing on the platform. Upon turning to thank my rescuer I saw it was Edwin Booth, whose face was of course well known to me, and I expressed my gratitude to him, and in doing so, called him by name.

Imagine if you, as a kid, fell off a ledge and were caught by Shah rukh. That's what it was like for the kid.

Where it Gets Even Weirder:

Since Edwin Booth was the kind of guy who did good deeds even when there were no cameras present, he genuinely had no idea who he'd just saved. He simply accepted the lad's gratitude, probably signed him an autograph, and spent the rest of his afternoon on a train reading a terrible fan-script the kid "happened to have on him" about William Shakespeare fighting zombies.

A few days later, Booth received a letter of commendation from Adam Badeau, an officer to the staff of General Ulysses S. Grant. It turned out that this young man Edwin had saved was actually Robert Todd Lincoln, the son of President Abraham Lincoln.

Keep in mind, it's not like the Booth family and the Lincoln family were neighbors, always running into each other. They weren't. They didn't travel in the same political circles -- the Booths were famous theater actors; they toured the country. This incident happened on a random train platform in New Jersey. It could have been any stranger and any random kid.

That act of heroism would have gone down as the only, unlikely interaction between the Booth family and the Lincoln family, if Edwin's brother John hadn't gone off the deep end and assassinated the kid's father only a few months later, nearly killing the country. John Wilkes Booth assasinated Abraham Lincoln on April 15, 1865, throwing an entire country in turmoil.

Siblings are nothing but trouble.

#4.

 

Two Brothers, One Bike, One Cab

We're going to be honest with you: There is really no way to build up the following story. It's just one of those things that is mathematically possible in the vastness of universe, but when it happens, it's creepier than those twin little girls from The Shining.

Where it Gets Weird:

In July 1975, newspapers on both sides of the Atlantic went nuts over the death of 17-year-old Erskine Lawrence Ebbin, the poor kid having been knocked off his moped by a taxi in Hamilton, Bermuda.

You see, the previous year his brother was killed ... on the same street. Also by a taxi. Both kids were 17, and they were hit almost one year apart. Oh, and they happened to be driving the same moped.

Moped show-boating claims two more lives.

Well ... OK. Mopeds are inherently unsafe, right? And maybe they both drove recklessly. It could happen.

Where it Gets Even Weirder:

Before we go any further, please know that Cracked had to check with several overseas libraries and even the Library of Congress to verify this report.

WE STOP AT NOTHING.

The following clipping appeared on page nine, column three of The Scunthorpe Evening Telegraph on July 21, 1975:

That's right.

The two brothers were killed by the same taxi.

With the same driver.

Carrying the same passenger.

Almost exactly one year later.

The Final Destination movies exist, folks, and you are living in them right now.

#5.

 

The Sandwich that Started a World War

You probably know from history class that World War I started with the assassination of an Austrian Archduke named Franz Ferdinand, kicking off a domino effect of events that left millions dead. You may not know, however, that what knocked over that first domino was a sandwich.

There was this guy named Gavrilo Princip. He was a Bosnian student and guerrilla, part of a group called the Black Hand. Sounds like the evil organization of mages that secretly controls the world, right? Unfortunately, it was something a lot less awesome: a Slavic independence group.

And for some weird reason, they really hated Franz Ferdinand.

To be fair, he had that kind of face.

The World-shattering Coincidence

Let's make sure to clear this up: Gavrilo Princip very much wanted to assassinate Uncle Franz. It was how it happened that was so awfully random.

In mid-1914, Ferdinand, his wife and the obligatory group of less important political figures and other random hangers-on that always accompanies a soon-to-be-assassinated fool, were cruising through the streets of Sarajevo in a (stupidly) open-top car.

The Black Hand had crafted an intricate assassination plot, which basically consisted of, "just kill this dumbass somehow." Unfortunately, as is always true with intricate assassination plots, something went wrong.

When Franz's motorcade passed by the assassins, one of the group, a guy named Nedeljko Cabrinovic, lobbed a grenade at the motorcade. The problem was he was using a shitty 1914 grenade, so it took 10 seconds to detonate, and by then Uncle Franz was out of range. The unlucky fools in the car behind them bit it instead, and the assassins dispersed in the chaos.

Cabrinovic took a cyanide pill that failed to kill him and jumped into a three foot river to "drown" himself. Franz and his party, it seemed, were safe.

But Franz was not yet done putting his life in insane danger. Against the advice of pretty much everyone, he insisted on going to the hospital to visit the people who were injured by the grenade. The driver, unfortunately, had no idea where the fuck he was going. They ended up crisscrossing hilariously through the streets of Sarajevo, until they just randomly happened to pass a cafe where, you guessed it, Gavrilo Princip was enjoying a post-failed-assassination sandwich.

After the obligatory pause of dumbfounded luck, Princip grabbed his pistol and turned the tide of history.

And How Did it Change The World?

First, WWI broke out ...

Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.

... Then there was the post-war economic failure...

Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.

... Which was part of the reason Germany actually elected...

Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.

... Who caused...

Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.

... Which ended with...

Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.

... which resulted in the Cold War...

Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.

... Which led to...

Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.

... And finally gave us:

Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.

That's right. Most of the horror and death of the 20th Century may not have happened had Gavrilo Princip not gotten the munchies for a sandwich.